


From enemies to boyfriends

by immortalhubbys



Series: Love: An unbreakable force [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Also anxiety, Also i know that the title is really creative, BTW, Bill is an alcoholic, Dipper Has PTSD, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, I am this close to not actually putting in italics the emphasises words, M/M, Mostly revolved around bill, POC Bill Cipher, also ocd, alsoooo, and it's a pain in the ass, and it's not a current one, angsty, because i have a bias, bill has depression, but it isn't mentioned here, but most of the time they're terrible, dipper doesn't give a shit about bill, fluff at the end, i guess, i have moments of genius with the titles, i love my murdering trash baby, it is only mentioned, mention of Stockholm Syndrome, not sure how to tag this, obviously, okay?, one of my fav things, only in the beginning, solely because i edit in html, sorry - Freeform, this is how i picture they started dating, tw abusive relationship, whenever i write a one shot where they are already dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 09:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11871000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalhubbys/pseuds/immortalhubbys
Summary: Dipper's worst nightmare comes true when he finds a very human looking Bill passed out in the woods. He makes Bill his responsibility, which was very stupid of him to do, and now he has to deal with the demon.





	1. The sigil

Everything was fine in Dipper Pines’ life ever since he and his family defeated Bill Cipher all those years ago. Or at least that's what he told everyone. Over the years he learned to hide from everyone anything that would make it look like he was anything other than fine. 

Dipper kept running. At that point waking up at 5am to have a morning jog wasn't a chore anymore, but rather a good and welcomed distraction. 

He had a nightmare, again. And again he woke up with the worst feeling in his chest, cold sweat dripping down his neck and his back. At least it wasn't a panic attack, he told himself as he got out of bed, but that didn't make the feeling disappear. 

The feeling was still there, and he it made him always look behind and always check every shadow and every mirror. It was the feeling that Bill wasn't dead. 

Dipper brushed it off as paranoia. He was always wary, but in the past few years it got just worst. He could swear he heard footsteps at night sometimes, even tho he knew that everyone was asleep. He could also swear someone was watching him sometimes, especially when he was asleep, but he knew that that wasn't true. Nothing and no one was watching him, and he knew that.

He kept running in hopes that it would take his mind off things, but it just wasn't working in that particular morning. And that was worrisome. Especially given the feeling that was accompanying it. The feeling that something, a very particular something, was gonna happen.

Dipper started running faster. Nothing was gonna happen, he told himself. He kept repeating those words, again and again, trying to make himself stop thinking about the feeling and the ideas he was getting. 

Bill died and that was it, he thought, trying to silence the voice in his head that was almost singing about Bill's return like it was a happy event, something to look forward to, not Dipper’s worst nightmare.

He really was losing his mind, he thought and he stopped running. He looked back and he was way farther from the shack than usually. He got distracted and ran too much, typically him, he thought as he turned around and started making his way back to the shack, but something made him stop in his tracks, or rather someone. 

Dipper heard a groan, it came from relatively close to him. He spun on his heels and went in the direction of the groan, he couldn't let someone alone in the woods like that, that person is most likely lost and maybe even hurt. And after a few minutes of searching, he found the person behind a tree, still passed out.

His eyes scanned over the person and the first thing that popped out were the person’s gold glowing freckles. He knelt down and tried to take a closer look when the person just sat up and looked around until their eyes met.

“Are you ok?” Dipper asked, staring in the gold eye and the one without pupil or iris, which were both looking right back at him. He could practically feel the empty eye looking at him. He could also feel the confirmation of his fears coming.

He knew very well who he was talking to. Only someone as dense as a brick wouldn't. But he waited for the confirmation because a part of him refused to believe it. Bill stared at Dipper for a few more seconds, as if analysing Dipper, or much rather checking him out, before muttering: “I'm great, Pinetree.” 

Dipper tensed up at the nickname and he didn't lose anymore time. He grabbed Bill's wrist and pulled out a pocket knife, and before the demon could process what was happening he started to cut into the skin, blood falling down on the grass and down Bill's arm. Bill gasped in pain, biting his lip right after. He closed his eyes, not even protesting. Giving how tight Dipper's grip on his arm was he knew he didn't stood a chance.

Dipper stood up and took a few steps back as soon as he was finished. Only because he dismissed his fears as paranoia that didn't mean he wasn't prepared if they came to life. Only someone stupid would do such a thing and he liked to think that out of all things he could be he wasn't stupid. 

Bill grabbed onto his bleeding wrist, his eyes still closed and Dipper watched him closely. Because maybe he did something wrong, or he didn't have the right spell at all and he had to be ready to run, at the very least. He gripped the knife a bit tighter, trying to ignore the heaviness of his chest when he took his every breath.

Eventually Bill looked up, and their eyes met again. “You ok, Pinetree? You looked like you've just seen a ghost.” Bill remarked and Dipper gritted his teeth. “Ok, no talking, I get it!” Bill added before taking his hand off his wrist and looking at the symbol Dipper carved in it. His eyes went wide and he slowly looked up at Dipper.

“That's some really dark magic you're messing with, Pinetree.” Bill said and there was something in his tone that Dipper couldn't quite put his finger on. It sounded a lot like concern, but he didn't think that Bill was capable of that. Bill also looked terrified, but he was also a very good actor so Dipper didn't buy it. “Yeah, whatever, let's go I don't have all day!” Dipper said, his tone venomous, and Bill stood up.

“And we're going where?” Bill asked raising a brow and Dipper was losing his patience. His every sense was going crazy, his breath hitching. The last thing he needed was Bill being an ass. But even powerless Bill was cocky and Dipper couldn't decide whether that was brave or just stupid. 

“Just start walking.” Dipper added and he spun on his heels, ready to leave, but Bill crossed his arms over his chest and simply refused to move. He didn't outright say that he didn't want to come, but his body language gave it away.

Dipper turned around and took a deep breath. That wasn't how he planned to spend his morning, or any morning. And although he expected Bill to refuse to do anything that he told the demon to, there was something off about the whole situation. Bill didn't exactly act like himself. It was subtle but it was there and Dipper could tell that from the feeling in his chest. Only the thought of Bill made him anxious before and now he was just fine. 

He was almost gasping for air seconds ago, but as soon as Bill spoke, his voice rather quiet, and crossed his arms over his chest, it was as if a stone was lifted off Dipper’s chest.

Bill tensed up, a sharp pain going down his spine and he looked wide eyed at Dipper. “Let's go,” Dipper said, he turned around and started walking, not even noticing the way Bill flinched. Bill followed behind him quickly and Dipper sighed relieved. 

There was still a feeling inside of him that told him that something was wrong with Bill. That feeling was there the entire way to the shack and even when he talked with Ford about what to do with Bill. He shot glances at Bill, who was looking around as if he was examining a new place he never visited before. And that didn't sit well at all with Dipper, because he knew that it was all an act. Bill looked just as lost when they were in the forest. 

“You can stay as long as you don't hurt anyone!” Dipper told Bill, who looked rather shocked by Dipper's request, but he didn't say no. “Alright.” It was all he said before leaving. That didn't sit well with Dipper either, but he decided to just keep an eye out in case Bill does anything. To his surprise everything was quiet, no sight of Bill anywhere and after a few hours he even forgot about the demon, which was rather shocking giving how recently he could've sworn he saw the demon everywhere.

He did, however, remember about Bill's presence when he needed help translating a text from a book he found online. He looked everywhere for Bill but with no luck. Bill simply wasn't in the shack. He slumped on his bed, defeated, but just before he admitted to himself that he blew it he had an idea. He remembered about the sigil from Bill's wrist and thought that it was worth a shot to summon the demon using it. 

To his surprise, Bill opened the door and looked inside two minutes after Dipper decided to try summoning the demon. His plan wasn't very concrete or thought out at all but just thinking about the demon seemed to do the trick. “You called?” Bill asked shyly and that seemed all sorts of odd to Dipper. He decided not to say anything tho, he didn't really care about Bill as long as he didn't hurt anyone. 

“Yeah, I wanted some help with some translations. My latin is not that great given that it's kind of hard to learn a dead language, and I had to ask if you could help.” Dipper said, at which Bill only nodded. Bill didn't speak the entire time he was in Dipper’s room, he just jolted down the translation and left. And the weirdest part to all of that was that Bill looked almost sad and even more so, confused.

For the next month and a half things went that way aswell, Bill ran off god-knows-where, away from everyone, obviously not further than the limits that Dipper put, Bill couldn't cross them even if he tried. He did however show up whenever Dipper summoned him and he helped Dipper out with whatever he needed, which was translations and informations as there was nothing else that the demon could provide him with. 

Or that was what Dipper thought, what he didn't know was that Bill wasn't providing him only with information but also with power, which was Bill's vital force. 

Bill was slowly dying and Dipper had no idea. 

Of course, Bill didn't say anything, he figured out that Dipper didn't care. For weeks he didn't remember a single thing that happened after Bill destroyed his home, an accident, really. He had no idea where he was or why he called  Dipper Pinetree. He had no idea why Dipper so cold towards him. He figured he deserved it tho. Around town he seemed almost worshipped, a hero, from what Bill understood. So he must've done something to deserve being mistreated like that. He must've done something to deserve to die.

For a good while he even though that Dipper knew exactly what he was doing, but recently he realised that most likely Dipper had no idea what that sigil truly meant. He realized that as soon as his memories came back. And, even worse, he realized that he deserved to have Dipper and the other Pines hate him. And that hurt a bit.

Even after he regained his memories and realized that he was dying because of an accident, he still didn't say anything. He knew that Dipper didn't give a shit whether he lived or died, and it was justified. 

There was also a darkness in Dipper’s eyes that made Bill's stomach curl. It was more intense whenever Dipper used black magic, but more recently it became a constant. Dipper was messing with some really dangerous spells and nothing scared Bill more than that. Dipper was always the biggest threat any of the Pines could oppose to him. He was smart, awfully smart, and he didn't fell for Bill's tricks, easily. 

The only thing that held him back before was his fear, but in terms of magic that was gone now, which made him very dangerous and Bill knew how that story would end. The same way his story folded out, which meant that Dipper was gonna end up soulless and alone, with the blood his loved ones on his hands, and Bill wouldn't wish that even to his worst enemy. 

He wanted to say something, he wanted to stop Dipper before it was too late, not even caring about his own life at that point, he was doomed anyway. What held him back was that whenever he was in Dipper’s presence he got scared for whatever reason. The only problem there was with that was that he didn't have the time to get over his fear. The clock was ticking for him and his time was almost up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write all the parts and post them all at once so I won't make readers wait for years for an update... not that I ever did that. 
> 
> But it's not like anyone reads this and would look forward to a next chapter anyway sooooo... who cares? 
> 
> Spoiler alert: I care.


	2. A new perspective

Dipper looked outside and he spotted Bill behind a tree. He groaned and threw a sweater on before running down the stairs and outside. It was pouring outside and Bill was just sitting there. He couldn't understand the demon at all sometimes and that moment was definitely one of those moments. 

“Bill, please go inside. It's pouring here, you shouldn't be out right now!” He said when he reached the tree Bill was hiding behind. He looked at Bill and sighed deeply. ‘Of course he fell asleep, ’ Dipper thought, but before he could finish his thought he saw all the bottles of alcohol lined up next to Bill. There had to be 20, at the very least. 

He knelt down next to Bill and tapped Bill's shoulder, deep down hoping that Bill wasn't dead or something of the sorts. To his surprise Bill did wake up, but fell back asleep seconds later. This time tho his head was on Dipper’s shoulder and his arms around Dipper’s neck. Dipper decided to just pick up Bill and carry him inside, after all, how hard could it be? Bill was a petite person after all and Dipper’s extensive training definitely helped him out even more so.

Dipper couldn't quite believe it, but he was in fact just about to pick up Bill and carry him in the house. There were some things that he never would have pictured himself doing and that was definitely on the list. He picked Bill up and was about to enter the house, everything going smoothly until that point, when Bill woke up, and he was furious.

“Put me down, Pinetree!” Bill spat out, looking Dipper directly in the eye. “Bill, you're really drunk, I don't think there’s much you can do right now.” Dipper said calmly, but Bill wasn't having it. “Let. Me. Go!” He shouted as he hit Dipper’s chest, clumsily, with his fists after every word. Dipper had to appreciate the passion but he knew that Bill was too drunk to walk by himself. 

He also knew that as much as he hated the demon he couldn't let Bill alone giving that because a. it was raining outside and Bill could catch a cold if he sat outside and b. Bill was drunk off his ass and only god knew in what trouble Bill could get himself into. And he didn't want to find out because Bill was his responsibility.

“I HATE YOU!” Bill yelled at Dipper when he saw that Dipper ignored his demands, yet again as he hit Dipper’s chest with his fists after every word. And he kept doing that until Dipper put him down. Then he spun on his heels and almost left, but Dipper grabbed his arm. 

“Bill, where do you think you're going?” Dipper asked, not sure what Bill was gonna do next. “Far away from you and your perfect life and your perfect family and your stupid pretty face.” Bill said before yanking his arm away, or attempting to do so. Dipper didn't grip Bill's arm tightly, but Bill was weak enough when he sober, let alone when he was drunk. “Bill, it's raining outside and you're drunk. I get it if you don't wanna see me, but please come inside, at least until the rain stops and you sober up a bit. I won't bother you in the slightest, I promise.” Dipper said, ignoring the second half of Bill's statement.

“And why would you care about that? You didn't care about me in the past, why would you change your mind? Or is it because I'm ‘your responsibility’?” Bill asked as he turned around to face Dipper, doing the appropriate air quotes. “Yes. I don't really care but you are my responsibility so I have to at least pretend to care.” Dipper said buntly. There was no point in lying when both of them knew the truth.

“So, please, Bill, come inside. I won't bother you in the slightest.” Dipper pleaded, to which Bill's only response was a scoff. “Fine.” Bill said, his tone venomous, and he started making his way into the shack. He stumbled until he reached the door and pushed it open, losing his balance at the same time. Dipper caught him right before he hit the floor, an expression of relief on face. But Bill was anything but pleased. 

He glared at Dipper, who sighed, knowing what Bill wanted already. “If I let you go you'll fall. Do you wanna fall, Bill?” Dipper asked and Bill only glared at him. “Better than being near you.” Bill said, his words lazy and strung together. Bill yawned right after he said that and Dipper picked that moment of distraction to pick Bill up and take him in the house, locking the door behind him. 

He carried Bill up the stairs, Bill yelling at him the entire time, but at that point Dipper just tuned it out as he realised he couldn't reason with the demon. “Put! Me! Down!” Bill yelled, his arms wrapped tightly around Dipper’s neck. He put his head on Dipper’s shoulder and groaned, just as Dipper opened the room to his room. “I will, in a few seconds.” Dipper said and he put Bill down, on his bed. 

“You're going to spend the night here and, since you don't want me here, I'll be anywhere but here.” Dipper said to a sulking Bill. Bill crossed his arms over his chest and averted his gaze from Dipper’s. Dipper sighed. “I'll go now. Good night, Bill!” Dipper said and he spun on his heels ready to leave.

“Don't.” Bill said, his voice shaky, as if he was about to cry. “What happened now?” Dipper asked, turning around. His patience was wearing thin. “Please, don't leave.” Bill said, looking right into Dipper’s eyes. Dipper sat down next to Bill and he examined the demon closely. Could Bill really be sad?

“Please, please don't go. Don't leave me alone!” Bill said, hugging Dipper tightly and burying his face in Dipper’s chest. Dipper hesitantly wrapped his arms around Bill's waist and pulled the demon slightly closer. “You just said you don't wanna see me and now you don't want me to leave. What happened, Bill? What's the matter?” Dipper asked, his tone soft and his voice barely above that of a whisper.

He didn't get a response, instead he heard sobs coming from Bill's direction. “Bill?” He asked, but there was still no response coming from Bill. “I'm so sorry.” Bill choked out, right when Dipper started to genuinely worry for Bill. “What for?” Dipper asked, trying to mask his shock. An apology was the last thing he expected to hear from Bill Cipher. 

“I know you can't sleep. I don't need my powers to know that. You're always trying to hide how tired you are, but I still know it. And I know, now, that it's all my fault. And I'm... sorry.” Bill said between sobs. “I know that doesn't help you in any way, but I...I,” Bill muttered before his words got drowned by his loud sobs.

Dipper wasn't sure what to respond to that, so, until he thought of a good enough response, he decided to just rub Bill's back. “It's fine, it's fine. Don't worry about it.” He muttered eventually, although he knew that he didn't say the right thing. His suspicions were confirmed when Bill started crying louder. 

“Bill, honey, please, stop crying!” Dipper said, panicking, not sure what to do. “But I fucked up. Really bad.” Bill said, finally looking at Dipper. Tears ran down his face and the look on his face simply broke Dipper’s heart. “Everyone fucks up sometimes.” Dipper said, but Bill wasn't pleased by Dipper’s answer. “Not as bad as I did tho. I really fucked up.” Bill said, leaning on Dipper. 

“You did.” Dipper muttered defeated, lowering his head. “You're still a shitty person. Not as bad as me, but still shitty.” Bill added, at which Dipper looked up, his brown eyes meeting Bill's gold eye. “Don’t look like that at me, you know I'm right.” Bill said, glaring at Dipper. He was still visibly sad, but he was also upset. “I don't even understand why you're still here. And don't say because I asked you to, because I know you don't care. So why?” Bill asked, not moving his gaze from Dipper’s for a second. 

“I...I don't really know.” Dipper admitted, all colour leaving his face. “You've been treating me like shit for a month and a half, but you know that already, you did it on purpose.” Bill said, sighing deeply. He was so tired. “I mean...I know I wasn't exactly nice to you but…” Dipper began, but Bill cut him off.

“I know that you heard that I destroyed my own home. I know what everyone says about me. They say that I did it for power, but I didn't mean to do it. That one I really didn't mean it. I… I lost control of my powers. It was an accident.” Bill said, tears running down his face again, choking on his words towards the end. Dipper was utterly confused by that point, but he was also intrigued, so he kept listening.

“I… I did do all the other horrible things I did tho. Those were all on me, but that one I really didn't mean. I… I even had to watch them all burn.” Bill said looking downwards. “My family I mean. I saw my mom and my dad and my aunt and my cousins grandma burn. Every single one of them. As soon as the fire started I ran straight to them, praying that they were fine, and I froze when I got there and they were all burning. I could barely tell them apart. The only way I knew who was who was because of the seats they were sitting in. I saw my seat too. Empty, waiting for me.” Bill said, staring at the bed for a few seconds before looking at Dipper and continuing: “We were having a family dinner that night. I wanted to go but...he said I shouldn't. And then...it happened.” Bill said, gritting his teeth. 

Dipper noticed that Bill was extremely coherent for someone as drunk as he was. Well, of course, any human that drank as much as Bill did would be in a alcoholic coma in that moment, so it wasn't like Bill had much competition. There was one thing that caught Dipper’s attention tho. Bill's mention of a certain ‘he’. 

“And who is he?” Dipper asked, taking advantage of Bill's temporary silence. Bill perked up at the question. He looked at Dipper like a deer caught in the headlights before asking, innocently: “Who are you talking about, Pinetree?” “That's what I'm trying to find out.” Dipper said and Bill looked startled by Dipper’s words. Dipper hit a soft spot, and he knew it, but there was a fire in his eyes and that meant that he wasn't going to give up until he found out what he wanted to know. 

“You mentioned someone. Someone who didn't let you see your family. Who is that person?” Dipper asked and Bill tensed up, clenching his fists, but Dipper ignored all of that. He had a goal and he was going to achieve it no matter what. Dipper already guessed that it was either a friend or a boyfriend, but he wanted to know for sure. “I don't know who you're talking about. I never mentioned anyone, let alone someone who would do such a thing.” Bill said, taking a defensive position and in that moment Dipper realised he needed to back off. Bill was clearly uncomfortable talking about it.

“Right. Sorry.” Dipper said, lightly shaking his head. He smiled, a half smile, in hopes of helping Bill calm down. And it did work. Bill stared at Dipper for a few seconds before his shoulders slumping and Bill sighing, in relief. “You know I'm not one of your mysteries, right?” Bill asked, his voice emotionless. Dipper knit his eyebrows, he had no idea what Bill meant with that. 

“Of course not. Why would you think that?” He asked, at which Bill only scoffed. “I saw that, in your eyes. Your... determination and curiosity. I'm a mystery to you and you're just dying to understand me. But I am not your mystery, Dipper. I am a living being with thoughts and dreams and fears, just like you and perhaps there’s nothing more to understand about me than that.” Bill said, watching Dipper closely. And Dipper wouldn't have minded that, if Bill didn't actually use his name. He averted his gaze from Bill's, he actually felt bad for pushing Bill's boundaries like that.

“You...never actually called me by my name…” He muttered, while still thinking about what he could possibly tell Bill. The almost the entire evening Bill kept him speechless. “Yeah, because I have a huge problem with names and it would be awkward if I just couldn't remember a name one day. So I give everyone nicknames.” Bill said with a shrug. “But that's not what this is about and you know it.” Bill added, still looking right at Dipper, his gaze so intense that Dipper was slightly uncomfortable. He wondered if that was how Bill felt earlier.

“I know. It's about me being invasive and treating you as if you aren't a person, which I shouldn't do and I'm sorry.” Dipper said, accompanied by Bill's nods. “You also treated me terribly in the past month and a half so maybe apologise for that aswell. It won't make me feel any better but, you know, do it out of courtesy. Or am I being too cocky for the grand Dipper Pines?” Bill asked, slowly getting more confident. Dipper realised that all of that boundary talk was just to mess with his mind and he wasn't going to let it slide.

“What did I do that struck as so terrible to you? I mean, you weren't expecting me to treat you like you were royalty or something, after everything you did, or were you?” Dipper asked, glaring at Bill. “Right… because I'm the problem. Do you even have any idea what this sigil,” Bill said, pointing to his left wrist, more specifically at the sigil carved into the demon’s skin,”does?” 

“Of course I do. It takes away your powers.” Dipper said, almost offended by Bill's question. “You're not wrong,” Bill said with a triumphal smile on his face, “but that's not everything this sigil does. It also sucks out my powers and transfers them to you. And my powers are my vital force, without them, I'll die. And because of that. I’m dying, and fast. I have less than a week left before I drop dead and turn to ashes.” Bill said, before starting to sob.

“I...I didn't know that.” Dipper said and he slowly reached for Bill's shoulder. Bill leaned back and Dipper put his hand down, getting the message. “Also, whenever you summon me it hurts. It's like… I'm getting electrocuted. And the scar that leaves behind isn't pretty at all. And it hurts as well.” Bill added and he took off his shirt, turning around for Dipper to see the scar that ran from the back of Bill's neck, along his spine, stopping only where his back ended. Dipper looked and looked at it. He couldn't quite believe that that was his fault, but it was. 

He didn't even try to touch it. It's not like he had the courage anyway. So he just stared until Bill put his shirt back on and, trying to do his buttons but giving up quickly. There were certain things that Bill was still too drunk for. “So?” Bill asked as he scooted closer to Dipper. “You don't have anything to say?” Bill added, leaning in until their noses touched. It took Dipper a few seconds to notice the change in Bill's behaviour, but when he did he was perplexed. He assumed it was because of all the alcohol the demon had.

Bill leaned in and he pressed his lips against Dipper, catching Dipper off guard. Bill parted their lips seconds later, leaning on Dipper’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around Dipper’s torso. “Feeling bad? Because if yes, you could totally make it up to me.” Bill said and Dipper realised right away that Bill was flirting with him. “Bill, are you…” Dipper began but he stopped talking when he heard a yawn coming from Bill's direction. 

“Bill, are you tired?” He asked quickly and Bill sighed, closing his eyes. “Very. Can I sleep on you? You're very, very comfy.” Bill said, before his words trailing off. Bill kept muttering a few more things, but Dipper couldn't make out what Bill said, especially since it sounded like Bill was talking in latin. “Sure.” Dipper said and Bill perked up, his face lighting up. “Really?” Bill asked and Dipper only got to nod before Bill pulling him down. 

He decided not to ask where did all of that strength come from all of sudden and instead he laid comfortably on the bed, gesturing Bill to come over once he was settled in. The demon didn't hesitate before curling up next to Dipper, his arms wrapped around Dipper and his head resting in the crook of Dipper’s neck. Bill fell asleep right away, Dipper being overjoyed by that fact.

He had to admit he could get used to that. He thought that it was gonna be awkward to cuddle Bill the entire night, but it was actually pleasant. Bill was really warm to the point where Dipper could actually relax as there were no chills going down his spine at random time. He could also feel Bill's heart beating, which was oddly relaxing, and he fell asleep in a matter of minutes because of it.


	3. A look underneath the mask

When Dipper woke up the next morning, Bill still asleep next to him, he knew what he had to do. He needed to fix things between him and Bill. 

Bill was still asleep when Dipper got out of bed, but Dipper simply didn't had the heart to wake Bill up, but he also couldn't take his eyes off the sleeping demon. Bill was just so peaceful and watching his chest rise and fall helped Dipper organise in his mind what happened last night. 

He wondered if Bill was always such a mess when he was drunk. But he didn't think much about it since that didn't really mattered to him in that moment, it was a question for another time when Bill wasn't rapidly dying right before his eyes. What mattered in that moment was the sigil he cut into Bill's skin that was slowly killing the demon. And although Dipper shouldn't feel bad, seeing Bill gone forever was what he wanted after all, he couldn't help it after everything Bill told him last night. 

He never knew any of those things about Bill and he definitely felt bad for being so harsh on him. Sure, Bill did some horrible things and nothing could excuse those things, but Bill couldn't be entirely evil. Dipper could feel that and he was determined to prove it. After all, everyone deserves a second chance, or at least that's what Mabel told him.

He stared at the sigil from Bill's wrist, gathering the courage to touch it and he almost did, when Bill woke up. Bill looked around, startled and jumped when Dipper spoke to him. “Bill?” “Pinetree…” Bill muttered, his shoulders slumping down as he visibly relaxed. His guard was still up tho and Dipper could clearly see that.

“Sorry. I won't do that again.” Dipper apologised, still dumbstruck. He wasn't expecting Bill to wake up so easily. Dipper leaned over Bill and reached for the drawer from the nightstand and took a dagger out of it. “Can I?” He asked, showing Bill the dagger. Bill nodded, not really convinced, but Dipper took what he could get.

He took Bill's arm and cut a diagonal line across the sigil from Bill's wrist. Bill looked bewildered at the blood that started dripping from the cut, that was now going down his arm. He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't manage to get any words out. He just wrapped his wrist in his shirt, staining the white shirt with blood, before getting out of Dipper’s bed and heading for the door, Dipper only looking at Bill, too surprised by Bill's actions to actually react.

“Bill?” Dipper asked, standing up. Bill turned around and looked at Dipper, all colour left his face at that point. “Y-yeah?” Bill said, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Don’t you want me to patch that up for you?” Dipper asked, tipping his head to the side. “I'm good, thanks.” Bill said, but he looked anything but ok. However, Dipper didn't push it because he knew that he couldn't force Bill to do something. Not anymore. 

“I'm here if you need me. And please, patch that up before it gets really bad.” Dipper offered as Bill reached for the doorknob. “Thank you, Pinetree.” Bill said, stopping in his tracks, his eyes fixed on the doorknob. He then opened the door and fled downstairs. He looked underneath the armchair from the living room, grabbing a bottle of cheap vodka before getting up. 

Bill was usually very careful while doing that, he didn't want any of the Pines to know about his problem. But Stan saw him. He didn't mind it tho as Stan figured out Bill had a problem with alcohol. Stan never said anything about it so Bill didn't either. “Need any help with that?” Stan said as soon as he saw the blood from Bill's shirt. “No thanks.” Bill muttered, looking anywhere but at Stan. “There's a first aid kit in the bathroom if you need it.” “Thanks.” Bill said and he left the room, clutching the bottle as if his life depended on it.

In a way it did. Being drunk all the time was what kept Bill from losing his mind, again. Whenever he was sober sadness and guilt overcame him. Alcohol was a blessing in his life for that very reason. He hid on the roof that day, one of the two hiding spots he found efficient. 

He couldn't stand meeting with the Pines. Not only did he felt horrible for what he did to them, but he also couldn't stand their hateful glances. So he hid. His two favourite spots were the roof, no one ever came there at that point, and the forest, of course in the limits that Dipper imposed to him. He always hid behind a large tree, sure he could be easily found, but no one ever bothered to look for him, so it worked all out perfectly.

He sat at the edge of the roof, his legs hanging down, and he drank. He started feeling something once he finished the whole bottle, but it wasn't good enough. The sun was already setting down at that point and Bill's wrist stopped bleeding too. He got up, leaning too close to the edge before he got his balance back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really was gonna do that, wasn't he? 

He got off the roof and went back into the shack. He was very light headed and he knew that it wasn't because of the alcohol, he barely had any, he couldn't be drunk. Bill assumed it was because of the blood loss and that was another reason why he should get help. 

He stumbled into Dipper’s room, but the room was empty. He slumped on the bed and waited. It wasn't like he had anything better to do. Dipper eventually showed up and Bill could clearly read the surprise on Dipper’s face as soon as he saw him.

“Bill...what are you doing here?” He asked, not sure exactly what to say or do. He offered Bill to come there if he needed any help, but he wasn't expecting Bill to actually take the offer. “You said to come here at any time if I need it, didn't you?” Bill asked, tensing up. He knew that coming there was a mistake. 

“Yes, I just wasn't expecting you to actually take the offer.” Dipper said, quite glad that Bill didn't do as he predicted he would. “Anyway,” Dipper said, lightly shaking his head, “what do you need? I mean you're here for a reason.” Dipper asked as he sat besides Bill. “I wanted to ask if you could patch up my wrist.” Bill said, showing his injured wrist to Dipper. Dipper sighed at the sight. 

“Bill…” He said softly as he held Bill's arm to take a closer look at the injury. “That looks terrible. You should've let me patch you up this morning.” He added and he got up to go and grab some bandages. Bill grabbed Dipper’s arm, not letting Dipper go. “Can I take a shower first, please?” Bill asked, once Dipper’s attention was on him. 

“Sure thing.” Dipper said and Bill let go of his arm. “I'll bring you some clothes, alright? I'm pretty sure you don't want to wear a blood stained shirt.” Dipper offered, Bill only politely nodding before leaving the room. He could definitely feel the hesitation in Bill's every gesture, so he wasn't going to push anything. 

Dipper went to look through his closet, in an attempt to find something fitting for Bill. There was nothing that fit Bill unfortunately. Bill was a lot shorter and skinnier than Dipper and none of Dipper’s clothes could fit the demon. Dipper eventually settled for a shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He could only pray that the shirt didn't fall off Bill and as for the pants he measured Bill from the eyes and readjusted the pants with a spell. 

He dropped the clothes in the bathroom and took Bill's old ones, throwing them right away into the washing machine. For the moment he figured that the clothes he chose for Bill were good. Bill looked exhausted and, speaking from experience, Dipper knew that it wasn't comfortable sleeping in jeans. But if Bill wanted to go out tomorrow he was gonna fetch the demon something else. 

A few minutes later Bill walked into Dipper’s room, dressed in the clothes that Dipper brought him and a towel on his shoulders. “Thanks for the clothes.” Bill muttered as he closed the door. His mood improved, it was very subtle but Dipper could see that. 

“Sure. Want me to patch your wrist now? Hopefully you won't get an infection.” Dipper said, finishing as Bill sat down in front of him and outstretched his arm towards Dipper. Dipper started cleaning up the wound, he was sure that Bill already did that, but making the wound just a tiny bit cleaner wasn't going to hurt. He then applied disinfectant, at which Bill flinched just slightly. He didn't move his hand tho, nor did he make any sounds, which was appreciated, but also worrisome. 

“You ok?” Dipper asked, glancing at Bill for a second before turning his attention back to what he was doing. “Yeah, why?” “I was expecting it to hurt when I applied the disinfectant, but you didn't say anything.” Dipper said as he wrapped the bandage around Bill's wrist. “I...it didn't hurt. That's all.” Bill said, avoiding Dipper’s gaze. Dipper knew that was a lie but he wasn't going to push Bill that night.

Dipper finished patching up Bill and he put all the medical supplies into a bag, which he put underneath his bed. “You're done.” He said once he noticed that Bill didn't move. Bill perked up and looked up at Dipper before muttering an oh and taking his arm away. Bill was too sober for his own liking.

“Can we talk about last night?” Dipper asked, in hopes of finding out a bit more about Bill. “I was really drunk, I'm sorry about all the trouble I must've caused you. And thanks for not letting me out in the rain.” Bill said, clearly uncomfortable. “Sure. And I think I have my limits. I have to apologise for treating you so horribly.” Dipper said, trying to make peace with the demon. 

“It's fine, you didn't know.” Bill fired back right away, which didn't sit well with Dipper. “And? That doesn't make it ok. I still treated you badly, whether or not I was aware of it.” He said, his eyes narrowed at the demon. “And I deserved it anyway.” Bill added, ignoring entirely what Dipper said. 

“What?” Dipper said, that being the last thing he expected to hear from Bill. “That's… that's not true.” He added quickly, his shock being replaced by sadness. “Course it is. I know what I did to you. I don't deserve your kindness.” Bill said, looking down in an attempt to avoid Dipper’s gaze. “Bill, honey, are you ok?” Dipper asked, extending one hand to reach for Bill's shoulder. Dipper put his hand away when Bill leaned back. 

“I'm great.” Bill said, but his tone wasn't convincing at all. “You don't seem, nor sound like it. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?” Dipper asked, Bill scoffing in response. “No.” Bill said coldly and he got up. He didn't walk away tho, he just stood there, his fists clenched at his sides.

Bill sat back down, except now he was very close to Dipper. He did come there for a reason and until then it didn't strike to him that it wasn't about his wrist. He put his head on Dipper’s shoulder, not saying a word. He didn't want to talk about his problems, he just wanted to reassurance and the emotional closeness. 

“Bill, are you...sure you're ok?” Dipper asked, completely perplexed by Bill's action. Of course, that didn't mean that he moved away, no, he let Bill rest his head on his shoulder. Bill shook his head. Dipper tried to embrace Bill, a bit surprised that Bill actually admitted to not being ok. “Don’t.” Bill said, his tone devoid of any emotion and Dipper put his hands away. He got that far with Bill, he wasn't going to screw things up now. 

Bill relaxed, all of the accumulated tension from his body slowly going away. As intimidating Dipper looked there was still just something about him that Bill found relaxing. He was proved that last night when he fell asleep. Doesn't matter how drunk he may have been, the fact that he fell asleep shouldn't be taken lightly. He never slept before.

Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper’s torso, clinging tightly to Dipper, who didn't comment against it. He closed his eyes and god, he was so tired! And everything was so… intense. He never felt that shitty before, and he didn't like it in the slightest. 

The sounds of a falling book caught his attention and he perked up his head from Dipper’s shoulder to see a book that fell right next to Dipper’s desk. It was his fault and knew it. “I'm sorry. I'll… I'll go pick it up.” Bill said and he got up, intending to go and put the book back on the stack of books from the desk. But as soon as he got up he got really lightheaded, losing balance almost instantly.

Dipper saw Bill falling and he didn't lose a second. He got up and caught the demon before he hit the floor, quickly lifting Bill in his arms. Bill’s vision started clearing out seconds later and he sighed relieved, until he noticed how high above the ground he was. He turned his head and he was met by Dipper’s brown eyes, looking right at him with worry in them. Bill froze right then and right there, Dipper going back at being intimidating in a split second. 

“Put me down!” Bill eventually managed to breathe out, his whole body tensed up. Dipper obliged and sat Bill down on the bed, curiosity getting the best of him as he said: “You don't like being lifted up, do you? Yesterday you reacted pretty badly to it, but I thought you were just drunk, but now you do the same thing although you're sober.”

“Yea, you could say that.” Bill said, his tone cold as he avoided looking at Dipper. Because it was way more than just him not liking to be lifted up. “Can we not talk about it tho? Just don't ever in your human existence lift me up and we're good.” Bill added, still not daring to look at Dipper. Because eye contact was a powerful thing. It wasn't said that eyes are the gates to the soul for nothing. And, in that particular moment, Bill couldn't sustain his act at all. 

“Well, it seems like you don't want to talk at all, so, please tell me cause I'm very curious, but why are you still here? You must want something, you're Bill Cipher after all, you always want something. And that something may not be bad, but it's still something.” Dipper asked, getting tired of whatever game Bill was playing. “That's because I don't want to talk, Pinetree!” Bill began, his sheer rage giving him enough courage to look Dipper in the eye. 

“I am not here to talk about my problems! Because, yes, I have several issues and I feel like absolute shit right now, if that was what you were wondering, Pinetree! I just want the emotional closeness and the calming sensation you seem to give me! And if that's not enough for you, then I'll go!” Bill said, his eyes narrowed at Dipper and while he didn't raise his voice, his words were still full of venom. 

“But I do, however, find it ironic that you lecture me on bottling up my feelings when you've been doing that for years. Because I don't need my powers to see it. The way you occupy yourself all the time from morning jogging, to intense training, to digging up the most random and useless information and going in hunt after hunt, not caring that you might die. You try to avoid having to just sit and do nothing, and more importantly, you try to avoid sleeping. Because you have nightmares every single night, I can tell that much even without my powers. And they keep you up and they give you that feeling in your chest that feels as if you're being choked and you can't breath. Those nightmares are my fault and I do apologise for them, but that's not the point. The point is the way you quickly put on your glasses when you enter the kitchen every morning in hopes that Shooting Star won't see those huge dark circles from underneath your eyes. But she always does, and she always asks you if you slept. You force a smile and lie. Of course you did. And it hurts to lie to that one person you would give your life for, but you don't want to worry anyone. You don't want to talk about it, because it hurts,” Bill spat, his fury visible in the flames from his eyes. 

Dipper didn't have anything to object, because it was all true. Somehow, Bill could read him like an open book and it made him highly uncomfortable. “How do you know all of this?” Dipper asked, his voice just barely above a whisper. “I kept taunting you with that I'm always watching thing, you shouldn't have taken it so lightly.” Bill said in the most serious way possible, bursting into laughter once all colour left Dipper’s face. 

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding!” He said in between giggles. What struck to Dipper tho was the fact that Bill's laugh was way different than what he remembered it. It was a lot less loud, but that could be said about Bill per overall, and it was also softer and Bill didn't sound like a maniac. “But seriously tho, don't take that lightly because I'll get my powers back at some point.” Bill added quickly, turning serious. “And, also I've been playing the same role as you do for years, I can spot it from afar. My ways of coping with my problems were a bit different, but that doesn't make it any less recognizable.” Bill said and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“What could get you to talk?” Dipper asked, because while Bill recognised the act he was playing, he recognised that Bill needed to let out a thing or two. “You doing the same thing.” Bill said, but as soon as he saw Dipper’s face lighting up he added quickly: “Not with me, of course. That would be stupid of you, I'm the enemy after all. And right now, if I had to take my pick on who to kill first, it wouldn't be you.” Bill finished and it took Dipper a second to catch up on Bill meant. 

“Are you sure there's nothing that could get you talking?” Dipper asked, with a sigh. He was getting a bit tired of putting up with Bill, but he wasn't going to give up. “I already named my price.” Bill said with a smirk. “But if you're too afraid to follow your own advice I'll be on my way…” Bill said, letting his voice trail off as he got up. 

“Bill, please! Don't make me do that! I don't want Mabel worried. She already worries too much for me anyway.” Dipper pleaded and Bill thought for a second, stopping right in his tracks, before saying: “How much do you wanna know?” “As much as you feel comfortable telling me.” Dipper said with a smile, happy that they were finally getting somewhere. 

“Why do you care about me? I know I'm your responsibility and all, but that doesn't mean anything. Is it because you pity me? Is it because you feel better about yourself knowing that I have it just as bad if not worse? Is it both?” Bill said, spinning on his heels to look Dipper right in the eye. “No. None of those.” Dipper muttered in response, feeling bad for no real reason. “Then why?” “Because I realised that you're much more than just the monster from underneath my bed that haunts my deepest nightmares. I realised you're a person, with feelings. And not even you deserve to feel like shit.” Dipper said, mustering the courage to look at Bill.

Bill stood there, in silence, for a full minute, just staring right through Dipper, before saying: “My parents weren't wealthy, at all, but my aunt was. So I got underneath her skin, made her pay for my studies and impressed the entire family. They made me the heir and the pressure to be what they wanted me to be came with it. I didn't realize it at first, I was just glad that I could live a better life than my parents, which is why I never stood my ground and did as I was told to do. I didn't want to lose that financial stability. Then my first husband came… and honestly, I didn't care for him at all, all I wanted was his money and his company. As soon as I could I got rid of him and things seemed to have settled into place. But I was alone and miserable, hating my job with a passion and then…” Bill said, going through the events quickly, but then he stopped. He swallowed nervously and avoided Dipper’s gaze. A sigh escaped his lips and he finally finished: “... then it happened. Everything got turned to ashes. I kinda lost it after that. For a little while everything was a blur, and now that I know every detail I kinda wish it was still a blur.” 

Dipper wasn't sure what to say to that. He could've never pictured Bill being that way, ever. But somehow it looked like that was the truth. And the scariest part was that Bill was aware of everything he did and he seemed to feel bad for it. He didn't get to even think about anything to say when Bill spoke again. “And that person whose existence I denied yesterday, he was…” Bill closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. It hurted so bad to say it, but he had to. “He was my…” He tried to say, again, but without any success. “He was my boyfriend!” He pretty much shouted, feeling a pressure onto his shoulders which was lifted as soon as he said those words.

He sat on the bed and put his head on Dipper’s shoulder, keeping his eyes closed shut so that no tears could come out. He wanted to cry, but he knew better than that. Dipper, on the other hand, wasn't surprised at all by Bill's last confession, especially after Bill mentioned his first husband. 

Still, he didn't get to even try to comfort Bill in any way because Bill got up and left the room. It was like he sensed that Dipper was about to say something and he simply wasn't in mood to hear it. 

Bill returned to the roof and sat down, his legs hanging down from the edge. He looked at the sky and sighed. That was certainly… progress. After years and years of drowning his problems with alcohol and parties he was finally sober and he even admitted to dating _him_. Dipper managed to push him that far in just 24 hours. It was… impressive, at the very least. 

He sat in silence, looking at the sky and trying to process how he was feeling. His chest tightened once he mentioned _him_ but it was slowly getting better. He sure reacted better than he thought he would. And once the anxiety caused by the mention of his worst nightmare washed away he realized that he felt… lighter. A weight was lifted off his back and, although he didn't want to, he had to admit that perhaps Dipper was right. He made a mental note to return the favour. 

He didn't even realize how much time has passed until Dipper showed up on the roof, his flannel tightly wrapped around his body. “There you are!” He said, his voice shaky, as he sat down next to Bill. When Dipper noticed that Bill didn't even gaze in his direction he added: “How are you feeling?” “Better. Thanks.” Bill said blankly, his voice hoarse from not talking for so long. “Why are you here and not inside, sleeping?” Bill asked, only then realizing that it was the middle of the night. 

Dipper chuckled, anything but amused, his chuckle dry and almost forced. “I already slept.” He said, his voice flat as he gripped his flannel a bit tighter. Bill could clearly see that Dipper was out of breath, despite how much Dipper tried to hide it and he could also see the newly appeared pallor from Dipper’s face. “Oh…“ Bill breathed out, realizing quickly why Dipper was there. It wasn't because of him… well, it was because of him, but not for the reason Bill initially thought. 

“Don't worry about it.” Dipper said, right before Bill had the time to express the slightest concern for him. It was as if Dipper read his mind, which he knew wasn't possible. “Course I have to worry, it's my fault.” Bill muttered, a knot forming in his stomach. “You can't do anything about it, so don't worry.” Dipper said, a small smile on his face. He tipped his head to the side, Bill scoffing in response. 

“Pinetree, please stop this.” “Stop what?” “This mission of yours to redeem me. I fucked everything up. I fucked you up. Look at you, you've got PTSD! And you wanna know what? I'm not sorry for it! Sure, it was all senseless, but I don't feel bad for it!” Bill said angered by how quick was Dipper to forget all the terrible things he did. “Why? Because I'm evil! That's how I've always been and all I am: pure evil! So stop trying to redeem me. Stop trying to excuse my action. Because there's nothing to excuse and nothing to redeem.” Bill said, his eyes narrowed at Dipper. 

“I beg to differ. I don't think you're all evil. And I also don't buy it that you don't feel bad for what you did.” Bill started laughing, his laugh maniacal. “Right!” He spat out, getting up afterwards. “I know that you would like to believe that, but it's not true. And the sooner you accept it, the better!” Bill added, his tone softening, and then he spun on his heels and left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I referenced a meme. 
> 
> Also, when Bill summed up his life before he destroyed his home he omitted something, but you didn't hear that from me.


	4. (Boy)Friends

The next morning Bill showed up for breakfast, only after Dipper sat and begged him for 5 minutes, but still. No one other than Bill and Dipper needed to know that. 

All of the Pines, except for Dipper, watched in a combination between surprise and horror as Bill sat down and ate breakfast with them. Bill ate quietly, ignoring the looks he got from the others, but that didn't mean that he wasn't hurrying to finish. 

He finished first, three out of four Pines too busy staring at the demon to actually eat, and politely thanked Stan for the meal, a smile on his face. “Uhm… sure, kid.” Stan said, taken aback by Bill's gesture, something that seemed so out of Bill's character. Bill got up and pulled his chair, then almost running out of the room. Dipper ate his last piece and threw a thanks Stan’s way before getting up and running after Bill. He caught the demon right before he left the shack, grabbing Bill's arm to stop him from opening the front door. 

Bill flinched, Dipper letting go of his arm right away. “Thanks…” Dipper said, not specifying for what. His smile fell when he saw Bill flinch and now he was watching anxiously, waiting to see what Bill was gonna do now. Bill sat there, frozen into place, his hand merely an inch away from the doorknob. “Anytime.” Bill said, his tone flat and emotionless. Dipper could see the pallor from Bill's face, which was now even more prominent than the day before. He felt a thug at his heart, as grateful as he was for actually resting for once he knew that using magic hurt Bill in that moment. 

“Please don’t do it again.” Dipper said, which didn't sit well with Bill. “Why?” “Because it hurts you. Also, it's not very evil of you and I know how much you cling on the fact that you're all evil and no good.” Dipper said, spinning on his heels and ready to leave, deciding not to bother Bill any further. “And, if you ever need anything, my door is always open.” He said, looking behind him at Bill, not waiting for an answer before leaving. 

To his surprise he was greeted by Bill in the evening, who was sitting in the middle of his bed, his legs crossed. Bill made it very clear that he wasn't there to talk and that he was gonna let Dipper know if there was anything he wanted to get out of his system. Dipper was perplexed, not understanding why Bill was there, but by the end of the evening, after Bill let him ramble about whatever all while absorbing his every word mesmerized, Dipper concluded that Bill was lonely and he just wanted some company. 

He didn't complain, especially not when he has been woken up in the middle of the night by a full on panic attack and Bill helped him calm down and go back to sleep. He didn't get more than 3 hours of sleep that night, but it was with 2 more hours than in any other night in the past 3 years.

Bill kept spending his evening with Dipper, the two getting closer and more comfortable with each other as time went on, both being more willing to open up in front of the other. And slowly but surely they became friends, almost inseparable in such a short amount of time. But other people begged to differ on the nature of their relationship. 

“Just admit that you like Bill!” Mabel said, leaning over against the kitchen counter. “As a friend, yes. But that's not what you meant and we both know it. And I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Mabs, but Bill is just a friend to me and I'm nothing more than a friend to him as well.” Dipper said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“As if!” Mabel said with a roll of her eyes. “You like him, Dip-dop, just admit it! The sky won't fall if you do, I promise! Or, I don't know, maybe you're straight and I was wrong all along. Although I can recall you having some crushes on some guys before.” Mabel said thoughtfully, Dipper scoffing.

“No, Mabel, it's not that. I am pan and I've come to terms with it. So it's not Bills gender or maybe lack of it, I'm not sure which, nor do I care, I am just simply not into him. He's my friend and nothing more. Also, what if Bill is straight, have you thought about that?” Dipper asked and Mabel raised a brow, her hands on her hips.

“Your argument on the matter is invalid. Bill is ruthless enough to suck some dick to get his way, regardless of his sexuality.” Dipper said, matter-of-factly, but before Mabel could object, he added: “But, Bill did outright tell me that he is, and I quote, very very gay. That is, actually, something he is pretty comfortable talking about. But that doesn't mean that he has a crush on me. I thought you'd know better than that!” Dipper said, an eyebrow raised at his sister.

“I'm not thinking that because Bill is gay, you should know better than anyone that I am better than that. I think that because of the lovesick looks you two give each other. Unlike the hugs and cuddles, which can very much be platonic, or the hand holding, which can be dismissed as you simply not wanting Bill to get lost, those lovesick looks can't be dismissed in any way. They are anything but platonic, but sure, you like Bill just as a friend and he totally feels the same.” Mabel explained, sarcasm oozing from her tone in the end.

“There are no lovesick looks, Mabel, but whatever. I gotta go now, Bill is waiting. We're watching a dumb romance movie because we want a good laugh. See ya later, Mabs!” Dipper said and he left, leaving no room for Mabel to argue. 

He didn't mention the incident to Bill. He told himself it was because he wanted to don't think about it, which was true, but deep down he knew that Mabel was right. And he didn't want to tell Bill about it from fear of rejection. Because he wasn't lying when he said that Bill saw him as nothing more than a friend. 

As soon as the two sat on the bed Bill sat as close to Dipper as possible. He wrapped his arms around Dipper’s waist and put his head on Dipper’s shoulder, a sigh following that. “You alright?” Dipper asked, his eyebrows raised as he shot a look in Bill's direction. “Just tired.” Bill said, lifting his head off Dipper’s shoulder and flashing a smile. “Well then you should rest…” Dipper proposed, Bill waving a hand dismissively in response. “Nah, I'm good.” He said as he put his head back on Dipper’s shoulder. “I just hope you don't mind if I put my head on your shoulder tho. It is… really comfy.” Bill said he nuzzled closer to Dipper.

“I don't mind it at all. I just want you to be comfortable.” Dipper said with a smile, but his smile fell quickly as he realised how romantic that may come across. Bill didn't say anything, reaching over to Dipper’s laptop, not even looking in Dipper’s direction. Dipper relaxed instantly. He was glad that Bill didn't look at him, because he was gonna worry and Dipper simply didn't think that Bill should worry over something so silly. What he said _could_ be taken as something romantic, sure, but Dipper didn't mean it like that. He just wanted to make sure that his _friend_ was comfortable and that was something normal to do for your friends… right? 

Dipper shook his head. No, there wasn't anything inherently romantic about him wanting Bill's well-being. He thought that only because Mabel put it in his head that he had a crush on Bill. Thing that wasn't true. “You ok?” Bill asked and only then Dipper noticed that he spaced out. Bill was waving a hand in front of Dipper’s face. “Yeah, I'm great. Sorry I… zoned out.” Dipper apologised, Bill raising a brow at that and then turning back to the laptop. 

“So, what's bothering ya?” He asked casually, Dipper tensing up. Bill noticed right away. For someone with one blind eye, Bill was very good at looking in two places at once. Dipper contemplated and decided to tell the truth. It wasn't like he actually liked Bill and could get his feelings hurt if Bill, let's say, laughed in his face, right? “Mabel said that I have a crush on you and when I argued about it she also _pointed out_ that you like me aswell.” Dipper said and he swallowed nervously. He had no idea why but waiting for Bill's answer made him anxious.

“And why does she think that?” Bill asked, his head tilted to the side, a smile on his face and amusement clear in his voice. But that amusement wasn't reflecting in his eyes. Dipper was rather expecting it. Bill was pretty good at hiding his depression, except for his eyes. Dipper thought it was that Bill simply didn't have the energy to do so, but it wasn't like anyone questioned him.

“Because we have lovesick looks in our eyes whenever we look at each other.” Dipper said as dramatically as he could with a roll of his eyes. Bill chuckled at that. “Well, then maybe we should look at each other with lovesick looks in our eyes. Or at least pretend to. Not you, of course, you don't need to pretend.” Bill said and he started laughing when he saw how Dipper’s face fell. Dipper started laughing as well right away. Bill was joking, just joking. Bill leaned closer to Dipper and without even thinking Dipper kissed Bill's cheek. He realized what he did only afterwards, but luckily Bill didn't even notice.

“But really tho. If your sister thinks that we are so in love with each other we might as well pretend we are for shits and giggles. We could totally test out which of us is the better actor.” “I think that's you.” Dipper said nonchalantly, Bill burying his face in Dipper’s shoulder to hide his blush. “Oh, stop it! Especially since you're pretty damn good yourself.” Bill commented, Dipper smiling softly. He didn't even notice the feather light feeling in his chest until Bill moved away to push the play button on the movie. It all turned cold as soon as Bill's body wasn't pressed against his own, but he still wasn't ready to admit that he had a crush on Bill. Because he didn't and that was the end of the discussion. 

“Pinetree?” Bill said halfway through the movie, inching closer to Dipper. “Yes?” Dipper said, and if he had to be honest, he was bored. The movie was nowhere near as ridiculous as its blurb. “But… uhm… it's not ok to look through your partner’s stuff, right?” Bill asked shyly, Dipper only nodding. If he was with Mabel he would’ve already been in the middle of a discussion about that, but with Bill he tried avoiding any mentions of unhealthy relationships. He wasn't sure how Bill was gonna react and the last thing he wanted was Bill panicking. 

“You're right, it is. But this is a movie. And romance movies often portray unhealthy relationships, just like this movie does. So they're still going to end up together despite the guy being a jerk.” Dipper explained, his eyes cast downwards. “This movie is no fun.” Bill said, trying to hide how uncomfortable he was as he shut close the laptop. “This movie just encourages people to sit and suffer through unhealthy relationships.” He added, arms crossed over his chest. 

“Yes and no. There are other reasons why people stay in abusive relationships.” Dipper said softly. He could tell that it wasn't about the movie anymore. “Like what?” Bill said, looking straight into Dipper’s eyes. “Fear. Sometimes financial stability or kids. There's plenty of reasons.” Dipper muttered, not sure if he wanted to continue that discussion. 

“But…” Bill began and he gritted his teeth. He gave his best not to cry and deep down he knew that he should just change the subject, but there was something he really wanted to know. “Do people ever leave such relationships or they just endure it their entire life?” He asked, forcing himself to look into Dipper’s eyes. “Both. Depends on the abuser and the abused.” Dipper answered blankly, he figured Bill needed cold harsh facts in that moment. He figured it was better if Bill simply asked him instead of looking it up himself. He had no idea what information Bill could come across, information that could ruin him emotionally.

“But… like the spell is over, you know that your partner is a piece of shit, you even stopped loving them… you're just scared, could… could you possibly find it in you to love them again? Is that a thing?” Bill asked, stuttering over his words and stringing his words together as if he wanted to finish faster, as if he was forcing himself to ask that. Which he was. All colour left Dipper’s face. That wasn't a hypothetical question and he knew that very well. 

“That's… “ Dipper began, not sure if he wanted to continue. He took a deep breath. Bill asked so he was gonna answer, and if Bill didn't take it well he was there, ready to comfort him. “That's called Stockholm Syndrome. The person who suffers from it is in a really bad situation they can't escape from so they convince themselves to love the person who harms as a coping mechanism. They don't actually love that person, they just talk themselves into thinking they do.” Dipper explained briefly, keeping it as general as he could. Bill was still visibly uncomfortable and Dipper could feel his heart breaking. 

“But it's not permanent, right?” “No. It does take time and lots of effort to… get rid of it, wow, I don't know how to words right now. But you got my point. Anyway, the person who suffers from it won't accept any help, nor will they accept that they have a problem or that they are being mistreated by the person they “love” “, Dipper explained making the appropriate air quotes. “And they are pretty much willing to do anything to please their abuser as well. Because if their abuser is happy, they will be nicer. Technically. I don't know that much about it. This is pretty basic knowledge on the matter.” Dipper added, Bill nodding along. His whole world crashed around him. He had that, he realized terrified. 

Dipper regretted telling any of those things to Bill because Bill looked on the verge of tears in that moment. “That's fucked up. And this comes from me.” Bill said, forcing a chuckle. “Bill, are you ok? You seem… uncomfortable.” Dipper asked, being as vague with his question as he could and deciding to not ask anything about Bill's ex-boyfriend. Bill was always very careful around him, always helping him out when something made him anxious and shielding him away from anything that could trigger his PTSD, so it was only normal that Dipper took care of Bill as well. And while letting out things helped Bill a lot, it wasn't the case here. So he wasn't going to ask, because he knew that Bill was gonna feel compelled to answer. But when Bill was ready to talk, he was there. 

“I'm great. Just tired.” Bill said, but the look on his face said quite the opposite. Bill looked around the room and dashed across the room, starting to arrange Dipper's books. “This place is a mess, Pinetree. How can you live like this?” Dipper noticed that about Bill. Whenever something made him anxious or uncomfortable he started cleaning and putting things into order. He sometimes made lists if the situation was appropriate. That was another thing that Dipper found worrisome. 

“I stopped giving a shit I guess. Good thing I have you here or otherwise I'd be long dead, huh?” Dipper said, and he was genuine. Bill always made sure that he ate and got at least a little bit of sleep. Bill also cleaned his room and put everything into place, his organising system very well put together, so that Dipper easily found what he needed when he needed it. He also made sure that Dipper showered and changed his clothes. If it wasn't for Bill Dipper would've been long dead, for real. “Yeah…” Bill said with a smile and he put the last book on its place. 

“You sure you don't wanna take a nap or something?” Dipper asked, unsure of how to make Bill feel better. Bill hid his hands in the sleeves of his sweater and smiled softly. “Think I could use a nap.” He said, spinning the office chair so it was facing Dipper now. “Then I'll leave you to it. I'll be downstairs if you need anything.” Dipper said, getting up and leaving the room. Maybe Mabel was right. Maybe he did have a crush on Bill. It only hit him when he saw Bill now. Sad. Anxious. At his most vulnerable. 

“You were right.” He said as soon as he got ahold of Mabel. “About what?” “You know about what!” He said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Be a bit more specific.” She said with a smirk, an eyebrow raised. “I have a crush on Bill. Pleased now?” He asked, aware that Mabel knew exactly what he was talking about. “Very. What made you realize that I'm right?” Mabel asked, leaning against the door. 

“Bill would kill me if I told you what happened, but I did realize that my feelings weren't as platonic as I thought.” Dipper said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Still, I have no evidence that Bill…” Dipper began, but he stopped talking when Mabel’s phone buzzed. Mabel took her phone out of her pocket and checked it, giggling after she saw the message. “Bill wants a glass of water.” She said and she handed Dipper her phone once she saw the perplexed look on his face.

“Hi Shooting Star! Could you please ask Pinetree to bring me a glass of water. Thank you! -Bill” The message read and Dipper could feel his face heating up. Because that was just adorable. “Your boyfriend is a sweetheart, by the way.” Mabel teased, a smile on her face. Her smile wasn't mean tho, not in the slightest. She was happy for Dipper. She has never seen him so smitten, or that happy for that matter. 

“Bill’s not my boyfriend!” Dipper said, his face still burning. “Hopefully, just not yet.” Mabel said, her expression sympathetic. “Now, c’mon, be Bill's knight in a shiny armour and bring him his water.” She added, lightly hitting Dipper’s arm. Dipper handed Mabel back her phone and he rushed to the kitchen. He filled a glass with water and put a straw in the glass, a yellow one more specifically, before darting off up the stairs and into his room. 

He found Bill laying on his stomach on their, now, shared bed and he lightly tapped Bill's shoulder. Bill looked up, his face lighting up as soon as he saw Dipper. “Brought you the water you asked for.” Dipper said, raising the glass. “Thanks.” Bill sat up and took the glass from Dipper’s hand, drinking the water through the straw. Dipper looked up and down at Bill, pressing the back of his hand and then his lips against Bill's forehead. 

“Bill, honey, you're really hot. Why are you wearing a sweater in this weather?” Dipper asked, his eyebrows furrowed. “That was the first thing I managed to grab this morning and then I couldn't bring myself to get something else.” Bill said with a shrug, returning to his water afterwards. “Well then, stay put and I'll bring you a shirt.” Dipper said, kissing Bill's cheek before getting up and starting to look through his closet. He grabbed a shirt and handed it to Bill, who sighed. Bill took off his sweater, setting it on the bed, and then he put on the shirt Dipper offered him.

The shirt was too big for him since it was Dipper's shirt, but Bill liked it anyway. It was comfy and it reminded him of Dipper. He sighed, not annoyed this time, but as a way to relax his body, his shoulders slumping down after he sighed. Dipper watched in awe. God, he had it bad, didn't he? 

“Bill?” He asked, his tone soft, voice almost trembling. He really was gonna do that. He was going to ask Bill to be his boyfriend, despite knowing that Bill was gonna refuse him and stop talking to him, most likely. “Yeah?” Bill asked, turning his head, letting the tip of the straw fall off his mouth. God, that was so so adorable! “Do you… do you… uhm…” Dipper started saying, his heart beating so hard it almost jumped out of his chest. Bill raised an eyebrow and Dipper gathered all of the courage he could muster and he said it. He closed his eyes so he won't see the look on Bill's face but he said it. He said the words.

“Bill, do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

And silence. No response came from Bill so Dipper decided to open his eyes. He was met by Bill staring at him, dumbstruck. That was the last thing Bill was expecting to hear from Dipper. 

Normally, he would’ve said no without any hesitations. He never understood love and there was also a feeling of dread in his chest whenever it was brought up. His part choices in partners weren't so fortunate and he didn't want to repeat his mistake. But since it was Dipper who asked he gave the question a thought. It never even crossed his mind to think of Dipper as anything more than a friend. Until that moment. He looked at Dipper. His cheeks were red and Bill could see how nervous he was. He was anxiously waiting for an answer. An answer Bill didn't have.

“Yes. I'd love that.” 

Bill said, a soft smile on his face. He couldn't quite believing the words coming out of his mouth. But only after he said them it hit him. He really loved Dipper. And not as a friend. Not _just_ as a friend. And it hit him when he saw the way Dipper’s face lit up as soon as he heard Bill's answer. 

Dipper ran to him and hugged him tightly, almost making him drop the glass. Bill set the glass on the nightstand and hugged Dipper back. A part of him was worried, worried that Dipper will turn out to don't actually love him, but another part of him just wanted to enjoy the moment. He was happy in Dipper’s arms.

Dipper was the one who broke their embrace, leaving Bill confused and sad. Dipper noticed the way Bill's face fell and he kissed the demon’s cheek, pulling Bill closer to him. “I just wanted to sit down. Figured this would be more comfortable.” Dipper said as he climbed onto the bed and laid down next to the wall. He gestured for Bill to come closer. Bill curled up against Dipper without hesitation, hiding his face in the crook of Dipper’s neck. Dipper wrapped an arm around Bill, his hand resting on Bill's waist. 

A content sigh came from Bill's direction, Dipper smiling softly as he closed his eyes. A feather like feeling coursed through his body. He could definitely get used to that. 

Bill shifted, lifting his head so he could press his lips against Dipper’s. Dipper pulled him closer, but didn't do more than peck softly at Bill's lips. He knew that Bill didn't want more than that. The demon was simply too tired for anything more than that. Bill smiled, his lips still against Dipper’s and right there Dipper decided that that was how he wanted to wake up every morning: Bill by his side, the two kissing, their lips just pressed against each other. That, that was bliss in Dipper’s head.

Bill parted their lips and nuzzled close to Dipper, his head being now on Dipper’s chest. Dipper started toying with his hair and Bill wasn't sure how he felt. He was numb, only one feeling passing through the veil that separated him from everything else. He closed his eyes.

Was he happy? 

Was he content? 

He couldn’t tell. He yawned. 

Was he pleased? 

Did he really love Dipper or did he make himself think that because he wasn't used with someone being so nice to him, especially after how much he hurt Dipper in the past. 

All of his muscles relaxed and while Bill wasn't sure of a lot of things he at least knew one thing for sure: Dipper was a soothing presence in his life, the only being or thing that could make him fall asleep. 

His chest rose and fell, pressed against Dipper’s chest. Dipper could feel Bill's heartbeat, a yawn escaping his lips and soon enough both of them were fast asleep, cuddled and in love.

Bill wasn't sure about a lot of things, but he knew that for now what he had with Dipper was enough.


End file.
